Brand new day, brand new me.

Today begins my attempt to get somewhat back into shape right before the holidays. It will be hard, but Ive got to be a big girl and pull myself up by my boot straps and do this one for me. Ive been wanting to get back into shape for quite some time now, but for one reason or another havent quite stuck to it. Im not sure why I have been giving up on myself, I think, after much internal debate that maybe I have offically rached a point in my life where I have given up on myself. I have struglled with depression for all of my life, and it runs in the family. Growing up I was the only person I felt I could depend on, it was just me, and either I chose to sink (suicide) or swim (live) and dammit i chose to swim. I am not a quiter, but these past 3 years i think ive excepted this new feeling. In the last 3 years I have chossen to live and out of no where discovered the beauty of life. I love life! the sun, nature, animals, and all of lifes magic is just amazing to me, it literally feels brand new, and i love every second of it. I have said "F you" to the pharmaceutical companies and thier hunger to keep me needing prescriptions pills....thats one of the reasons why i gained about 40 pounds in less than 3 months, and have had trouble loosing it ever since. I have disvoered and thoroughly learned the power and truth to holistic therapy and all that is has to offer. The power of touch, scents, nutrition, negative ions, etc I plan on discusing each of these topics in the near future, but for now I am just using this blog as a means of venting whats on my mind, and in the process learning how exactly this ting works. til then, :)